The orchid blooms again...

It's been almost a year and I'm taking another crack at it. Perhaps only for my own sake.

What motivated me was the new growth of my orchid. My metaphoric orchid has trumpeted its silent voice once again and I'm attuned to what it is saying.

I seriously had given up on this plant flowering again. After its last bloom the stem shriveled up and in my ignorance I hacked off the shriveled stem not giving heed to the potential consequences. And consequently, my hack job precipitated the total death of what was left of the flowering stem part of the plant. The only things left were the broad green leaves. So patiently and hopefully, I continued to water and mist the leaves and they flourished. But they were only boring, plain leaves. Green and healthy yes, but not all that pretty to look at.

For months and months, nothing seemed to be happening. And then one fine day, I came home and noticed there was a little green nubbin. A nubbin that turned to a shoot. A shoot that shot up and now I am almost delirious to report -- the orchid has two new flower buds growing on it. Two new flower buds (and what looks like a potential third) that started to grow in this new year. Hmm...new year, new growth. I pray it is a positive portent of what is to come.

Incarnation

The word "incarnation" is one that is bandied about frequently in my midst. Usually it is in the context of living in poor postal codes and the word "authentic" is usually not too far behind it. To borrow from an inspirational leader's blog in this context:

"A reminder for those into the incarnational thing: authentic Christianity is a means, not an end. Incarnation is a means, not an end. The goal isn't to love each other and 'live' amongst poor people. The goal is to win the world for Jesus. So we need to get them saved and sanctified (and discipled and trained)." (hat tip sec)

This past weekend I have been assailed by a feeling common to many of my "poor" friends. I have been feeling very lonely. I read the above statement and it struck a chord with me. For several years I have ascribed to a theology (one I thought was practical as well as theoretical) that involved living the incarnation by rubbing shoulders with the poor, getting your hands and heart exposed to the grit of life and loving and transforming lives all in the midst of that.

In recent months, things changed somewhat for me. I moved out of the poorest postal code and with that decision came a series of examinations of my heart attitude, questions of my commitment to mission and even the validity of my membership in a community of people with shared values and beliefs. It was a difficult time for me and continues to be a season of self-examination and reflection six months after my change in location or where I choose to 'live'.

What struck me most about the reminder above was "The goal isn't to love each other and 'live' amongst poor people". The means does not guarantee the desired end. Not if key elements in your execution plan are missing. The goal as Jesus sets it out is to love one another as He loved us. To love your neighbor as yourself. To not pass a brother or sister by in need but to be the "Good Samaritan".

The reality for me became not where I chose to live but HOW I chose to live. I was living among the poorest and most broken people in my country but I was not loving them. I sometimes wasn't even seeing them. I was too busy or it was simply too painful. Proximity did not guarantee community. So I moved out of the neighborhood. I changed my "where" so that my "how" could make the changes it needed to make.

Although I don't disagree with my friend that the end is more important than the means - I think in order to reach the goal, I need one thing: LOVE. Without love, I am nothing and I have nothing and the goal cannot be attained.

Lord, have mercy on me and teach me how to love.

Resolutions

As another year comes to a close by the Roman calendar, it's a time that inevitably leads to reflection, countdowns, best and worst lists and of course: resolutions for the new year. I am not one to typically make resolutions since whether it's a new year or simply a regular day in the life, rarely do I get accomplished what I set out to do. My life seems to be a series of distractions that when added up may lead to some theme or meaning but is not one shaped by goal setting and a great sense of accomplishment. I sometimes wish it were different but there's no sense wishing I were an apple when I'm in fact an orange...huh?

Anyway, if I'm going to make resolutions - one might be that I get back to blogging.

Any votes?

You will always have the poor

Tonight I was at my cell group and the introductory questions was "what causes poverty?" There were many interesting answers and an interesting discussion ensued as per usual. Then I came home and now that I have cable TV I was just chillin' like a villain when an episode of a show called Criminal Intent came on. The episode was all about how a serial killer was preying on victims of skid row and he got to 63 victims before anyone even noticed something was amiss. Not far off from the local Pickton trial taking place in my own city where I live.

The show contained a quote by Melville that said,

"Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well- warmed, and well-fed". --Herman Melville

The show, the quote, the cell talk...it's left me thinking about my own attitude sometimes to "those less fortunate than myself". There are times when I am guilty of making bad assumptions about people I know very little about. Or I lack compassion. Or I'm just downright apathetic. And it wasn't until I heard the Melville quote that I realized how pervasive and destructive the chasm between the "haves and have-nots" is. How insidious criticisms and judgments are that so easily creep in to my thoughts and launch me up on a high horse. And all because I am one of the "haves".

There are certainly things I "have not". I am by no means wealthy by North American standards. But by world standards I am in the top percentage even if I'm living below the poverty line. I am well-housed. I am for the most part well-warmed and most certainly I am well-fed. I only have to walk as far as the tap for fresh water. Which makes me by Melville's wisdom, prone to folly in the form of preposterous assumptions.

God help me...and forgive me.

My Orchid speaks

I have an orchid plant. I got it some time ago and when I bought it, it was beautiful. In fact, I think it had somewhere between five and seven blooms on it. I have never owned an orchid before but I delighted in taking care of it. I bought a mist bottle and followed the instructions as closely as I could. And then one fateful day, the blooms began to wither and eventually shriveled up and died. Not knowing any better, I cut the deadness off. Then another day, I nearly fried it by leaving it in direct sunlight. The leaves turned brown and were scorched.

But this little orchid is hearty. It has survived much and continues to thrive. After the death of the first blooms, I continued to mist and water the leaves throughout the winter and I was overjoyed when a new sprout appeared along the stem this spring. And eventually, new blooms appeared from this new shoot and I took much pleasure in them. If I recall correctly, I think the second summer it had four blooms, the number of grace.

I began to wonder if this was not a prophetic plant for me for it seemed to foreshadow seasons of death and gave me a renewed hope in life.

Finally this summer, not long before I moved, the flowers again died but there also followed a dramatic death to the entire stem. In what I can only presume was a prolonged drought in our overcrowded room, the heat fried it to a dry and woody stem. A sad pathetic twig of a thing that just crumbled in my hands. It looked and seemed beyond redemption.

I began to fear that with there being no stem to support flowered life, the beginning of the end had surely come. But since moving to this new place there has sprouted a very vibrant fresh leaf that is only now just beginning to uncurl.

I am doubtful that there will grow a new stem and more flowers will come, but I cling to hope. Because I am told that hope does not disappoint. So I am pressing in with hope for new life. For another bloom against all odds...for my orchard and for myself.

I'm back!

It's been an extremely busy summer with settling in to a new job, being in a wedding, leading a brigade in Old Orchard Beach and then moving into a new place. Although the calendar year begins in January, it's always felt like August is the end of the year and September is often the month of many new beginnings. New school year, new people, new clothes and shoes.

So, with all that being said I've been feeling the pull (and encouragement) to begin blogging again.

For pictures of my new place, check out Facebook.

On the move

So I've made a decision to change my place of habitation. I am moving out and moving on. In going throgh the process of looking for a place to live, I am realizing first hand the obstacles to finding stafe and affordable housing in Vancouver. It's such an arduos process. Self-addressed stamped envelopes, waiting, applications to fill out. More waiting...no phone numbers to follow up with just waiting.

It seems to be a theme in my life lately. Learning to wait. It's a good lesson. Last week at our weekly prayer meeting while everyone was revving up in a worship frenzy I was sensing the need to be still and know. To wait on the Lord. To seek His direction, his timing.

I couldn't help thinking of the Israelites and how after God set them free from the bondage of Egypt they spent a lifetime waiting on the Lord for his direction. They would wait and wait and when God said it was time to move on, they would pack up all their gear and move on. They would set up camp where he said stop. I wonder if they ever got tired of the whole routine. Actually...now that I think about it, there's little doubt in my mind that all that moving and waiting had something to do with the grumbling and complaining. I mean think about it. Read the book of Numbers. Do you know how much WORK that would have been to constantly be stop...go...wait...go....stop. And then do it all over again. That's got to be hard.

I'm thinking it taught them a whole bunch of things. Like patience, trust, obedience. And waiting. They must have got real good at learning to wait.